The Bard’s Tale…

Tonight I had the best laugh with a bunch of my friends!  I was up in Belfast tonight at QUB’s gaming society – Dragonslayers.  Last week I had rejoined a campaign of Dungeons and Dragons which was being ran by a very good friend of mine.  Essentially the way the game works is that one person narrates the game; they come up wit adventures, quests, rewards and all of the pitfalls along the way.  The rest of us all play characters in the game hence the genre label of role-playing game.  If you imagine it in the context of The Lord of The Rings, each of the players in the game is like a member of the Fellowship working together, combining skills and abilities to complete a quest – the destruction of the One Ring being the quest in this comparison. 

My character in the game is named Laurie after one of the characters in Raymond E. Feist’s Riftwar saga.  Larie is a Bard; not a strong fighter, not a particularly strong healer, not a great thief and definitely no Gandalf when it comes to magic but he can do all of the above… The Bard’s real strength is in his speechcraft.  Laurie is a crafter of fine verse, renowned the world over for his epic poems and tales of valorous deeds.  He’s a charismatic chappy, able to charm his way out of most difficult situation and, if it comes down to it, an amazing liar!

In tonight’s adventure myself and my party found ourselves undertaking the simplest of tasks and making, frankly, a real hash of it!  We were tasked with infiltrating a building and taking a couple of brigands captive.  When we arrived we found the building to be guarded by both archers and swordsmen.  After the party dispatched the archers on the roof, my character, Laurie, proceeded to coax some of the armed swordsmen out of the building by convincing them of a bandit attack in a near-by street.  Four fighters left the building and the party decided this was their best chance to storm it.  As we enter this transcription of what happened Laurie and another party member, Calain, are keeping watch outside while the rest of the party storm the building and seek out the men we’ve been tasked with capturing!

Calain (Perched atop a look-out point and communicating to Laurie through a telepathic link) – Those four fighters are on their way back now… They’ll be here in like 30 seconds or so!  I think they’ve spotted me!

Laurie (Moving to a position from which he can see the four approaching fighters) – Ok, never fear! I shall stall them!

Calain – I’ve got your back

Laurie (Stepping out in front of the fighters with a magic scroll in his hand and lying through his teeth) – Halt!  Do not take another step forward!  I am the finest wizard in all the land!  My destructive magic will be your demise unless you flee now!

Calain (Putting his head in his hands) – *sigh*

[At this point I role a dice to determine whether or not I am convincing enough to dupe the fighters.  I fail.]

Calain (Firing an arrow at the enraged fighters approaching his friend) – Laurie, there’s a rope here on to this roof.  Get out of there!  I’m warning you, I’m pulling this rope up behind me any second!

Laurie – Don’t worry, my plan hasn’t failed yet!  I’m going to try it again. This is either going to work or…

Calain – …you’re going to get beefed … and die!

Laurie (Casting a spell which, in reality, is merely healing him for a measly 2 hit points) – I’ve just erected a powerful ward around myself!  Last chance!  Turn away or die!

[I roll again to bluff the four fighters.  I succeed!]

The Four Fighters (Stopping in front of the scrawny Bard with an air of apprehension) -  *emmmmm*

Calain (Shouting at the Four Fighters) – Run while you still can!  This wizard’s mad! He’ll kill us all!

Laurie (Producing another insignificant scroll and useless wand from his backpack) – *looks menacing*

Brennus (Emerging from a near-by building and spying Calain) – What’s happening?

Calain – Laurie’s going to get [and I quote] bummed!  He’s pretending to be a powerful wizard!

Brennus – Tell him to act like he’s casting a spell!  I’ll summon a tornado behind him!

Calain (Using his telepathic link with Laurie) – Act like you’re casting a spell!

The Four Fighters (Unconvinced by Laurie’s unfulfilled promises of destruction) – Attack!

Laurie – *runs like hell down a side street*

The Four Fighters - *chase after Laurie*

Brennus - *summons a tornado in the street where Laurie used to be*

Manex (Emerging from the same building which Brennus had) – There appears to be a tornado in the middle of the street… Is that normal?